There’s a kind of season that doesn’t get enough compassion.
It’s not the “before” (where you can still pretend everything is fine), and it’s not the “after” (where the new life has a rhythm).
It’s the in-between.
The chapter where something ended—maybe a relationship, a role, a dream, a version of you—and the next chapter isn’t fully built yet.
In-between seasons can feel like:
- waking up and forgetting, for a moment, what your life is now
- feeling unmotivated, not because you don’t care, but because you’re exhausted
- being unsure what you want, what you like, or who you’re becoming
- wanting to move forward but also wanting to curl up and disappear
- feeling guilty that you’re not “handling it better”
If you’re there right now, I want to offer you something steady:
You are not behind.
You are not “too much.”
You are in a real, human transition.
And transitions require care.
This article is a gentle guide for moving through the in-between with hope—without forcing clarity before your nervous system is ready.
Why the in-between feels so hard (and why it’s not your fault)
The in-between is difficult because your brain loves certainty.
Even when the old life was painful, it was known. It had routines, roles, and predictable expectations.
When that structure disappears, your nervous system often responds with:
- hypervigilance (trying to control outcomes)
- shutdown (numbing out)
- anxiety (anticipating what could go wrong)
- sadness (grieving what was and what you hoped for)
You might think, “I should be excited about the future.”
But your body might be saying, “I don’t feel safe yet.”
Both can be true.
Healing in the in-between is not about forcing positivity.
It’s about building safety and stability first—so the future can feel possible.
The three anchors: stabilize, grieve, and experiment
When clients are in transition, I often come back to three anchors:
- Stabilize (protect your basics)
- Grieve (tell the truth about what was lost)
- Experiment (try small steps toward who you’re becoming)
Let’s walk through each.
Anchor 1: Stabilize (because your body is the foundation)
Transitions can make basic care feel surprisingly difficult. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy—it means your system is under strain.
Stabilizing isn’t glamorous, but it’s powerful.
Create a “minimum viable day”
In the in-between, your goal is not perfection.
Your goal is a day that doesn’t drain you further.
Pick 3–5 essentials:
- eat something with protein
- drink water
- get outside for 5 minutes
- take one shower
- one tidy sweep (10 minutes)
If you do those things, you’re not failing.
You’re stabilizing.
Reduce decision fatigue
Decision fatigue is real in transitions. Your brain is already doing extra work.
Try:
- repeating simple meals
- laying out clothes the night before
- batching errands
- limiting “big decisions” to one day per week
Stability comes from fewer choices.
Set a “soft boundary” around your energy
A soft boundary is a gentle limit that protects you without requiring conflict.
Examples:
- leaving events early
- declining extra responsibilities
- saying: “I’m not taking new commitments this month.”
Soft boundaries are training wheels for stronger ones.
Anchor 2: Grieve (because you can’t build on denial)
Many women try to skip grief.
They rush into reinvention because grief feels like failure.
But grief is not failure.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
Grief is the honest acknowledgment of:
- what you hoped would happen
- what you tolerated
- what you invested
- what you lost
A prompt to start the truth
Write down:
- “What did I lose?”
- “What did I gain?”
- “What do I miss, even if I don’t want to?”
You might be surprised by what shows up.
Missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back.
It means you’re human.
Let grief be seasonal, not permanent
Grief comes in waves.
Sometimes you’ll feel strong. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re starting over.
That doesn’t mean you’re regressing.
It means you’re processing.
Anchor 3: Experiment (because clarity usually comes after motion)
A lot of people think they need to know the entire plan before taking a step.
But in the in-between, clarity often comes after movement.
You learn who you’re becoming by trying small, values-aligned experiments.
Choose one “identity seed”
An identity seed is a tiny action that reflects your future self.
Examples:
- join a class
- take a solo walk
- redecorate a corner of your home
- update your resume
- start therapy or coaching
- make a new friend date
Not because you need to prove anything.
Because your nervous system needs evidence that life continues.
The “two-week experiment” mindset
Try something for two weeks.
Then evaluate:
- Did this nourish me?
- Did this drain me?
- Did this make me feel more like myself?
Two weeks keeps it small enough to be doable.
And long enough to gather real data.
What to do when you feel stuck
Stuck is not always a problem.
Sometimes stuck is your body saying: “I need safety before I move.”
But if stuck feels heavy, try one of these gentle moves:
1) Name what you’re avoiding
Avoidance is often protection.
Ask:
- What am I afraid will happen if I move forward?
Naming fear reduces its power.
2) Ask for one kind of support
Support works best when it’s specific.
Instead of “I need help,” try:
- “Can you watch the kids for one hour?”
- “Can you bring dinner Tuesday?”
- “Can you sit with me while I make this phone call?”
You don’t need a village all at once.
You need one solid support beam.
3) Make the next step embarrassingly small
The next step might be:
- opening the document
- texting the person
- making the appointment
- putting shoes on
Small is not silly.
Small is sustainable.
A hopeful reframe: the in-between is not empty
The in-between can feel like an empty lot.
But it’s not empty.
It’s a space where:
- patterns can end
- nervous systems can exhale
- desires can become clear
- self-trust can return
It’s the quiet chapter where your future self starts to form.
Not by force.
By gentleness.
If you’re healing after a painful chapter
If your transition involves heartbreak, divorce, betrayal, or a deep identity shift, please hear this:
You don’t have to “get over it” to move forward.
You can heal and build at the same time.
Healing doesn’t require forgetting.
It requires creating a life where you feel safe inside your own skin again.
A small practice for today: the three sentences
If you want a simple grounding practice, try this:
- “Today, I feel…” (name the feeling)
- “What I need is…” (name one need)
- “My next small step is…” (name one small action)
Write it down.
Even if you don’t act on it immediately.
Naming is a form of care.
You don’t have to do the in-between alone
Transitions can be isolating.
People often expect you to be “fine” quickly.
But your healing deserves time and tenderness.
If you want a patient, hopeful space to rebuild—where we focus on your goals, your stability, and your next right step—book a free discovery call.
We’ll talk about what’s changing, what you’re carrying, and what support would actually feel like.
You’re allowed to build a life that feels safe and hopeful again.
